Watch for mixed metaphors! “Her eyes flew across the room” is a classic example. This can also happen with misplaced prepositional phrases. Make sure they’re in the most logical order or they can have a similar effect. I saw one the other day that said “Wanna Clone Your Dog Like Barbra Streisand?” So, are they suggesting that your dog is like Barbra Streisand? I don’t think so, but it could be read that way. Adding “did” to the end of the sentence fixes it grammatically. Most would know what was meant, but it’s still best to avoid statements which can often be hilarious, but throw your reader out of your story while they have a good laugh.
Today’s Writing Tip
If your novel becomes a series, remember some readers may not start with book one. Describe the characters in each story and recap the plot and any key events so they’re not lost or confused. Loyal readers will appreciate the reminder as well, especially if it’s been a while since they read the previous volume. I have more tips for serial writers in two previous blogs, which you can find here and here.
Today’s Writing Tip
Use active voice as much as possible. “The boy threw the ball”, not “The ball was thrown by the boy.” Note it also eliminates a preposition. This is another way that tighter writing is better writing. There are exceptions, but use them consciously. For example, a statement such as “The board approved the new proposal” is often simply stated “The new proposal was approved.” Watch for needing a prepositional phrase following the verb, in which case you may be slipping into passive voice.
Today’s Writing Tip
Learn to use commas correctly. Comma usage is too complicated to explain here, but be aware that they not only affect readability, but reflect your skill as a writer. Read your work out loud, if necessary, to help you figure out where they’re needed. Their primary purpose is to separate sentence elements with a slight pause to provide clarity. Hint: You’ll often need one before “but” or “which”. Oxford commas, where you include a comma before the “and” in a series of items, is often used as well. For example, “Her favorite foods included pizza, spaghetti, chocolate, enchiladas, and fajitas.” Without the Oxford comma, “enchiladas and fajitas” could be considered to be a reference to a combination plate as opposed to separate items.
Today’s Writing Tip
Use possessives to avoid prepositional phrases, e.g. notice how I changed the header from “Writing Tip of the Day”. You wouldn’t say “the collar of the dog”, would you? Tighter Writing is Better Writing. #amwriting #RRBC #amediting
Writing Tip of the Day
Introduce flashbacks with a past-perfect verb, i.e.: “She’d been charmed from the moment their eyes first met.” Continue with simple past, then close with past-perfect back to the present story action. #amwriting #amediting
Writing Tip of the Day
Use pronouns and possessive pronouns effectively to avoid redundancy. For example, say “He took her hand in his and kissed it”, not: “He took her hand in his hand and kissed her hand.” Tighter writing is better writing. #amwriting #amediting
“Prophecy of Thol”: Science Fiction at its Best!
Prophecy of Thol
by Dawn Greenfield Ireland
This five-star beauty of a story is so well done I hardly know where to start. First of all, while it is definitely suitable for teens and young adults based on its content, as someone who has grandkids in that age group I thoroughly enjoyed it, too. More than enjoyed, actually. I loved it!
The author did a fabulous job of transitioning the heroine, seventeen year old D’Laine, from what had been a very trying time, to some semblance of normalcy as she prepared to go to college, to being plunged unexpectedly into an entirely different world. Her premonitions in the form of nightmares provided great background and suspense. In most cases, giving the reader more information instead of less actually builds more suspense as you have so many more things to consider and worry about. Not only did D’Laine fall through a portal and find herself on another planet with a variety of weird creatures, she also was introduced to powers she possessed of which she had no idea! Her transition into the role effectively took the reader along for the ride in a very smooth and credible manner.
The unusual sentient creatures and their respective cultures were well-drawn, full of imagery, and convincing, as well as their interactions among themselves and the planet as a whole. The humans were just alien enough, being somewhat medieval in some senses, yet high-tech on another, making them relatable.
The advantage of having a modern earthling as a protagonist is that the descriptions can be familiar. Some of the comparison and references to sci-fi icons such as the Star Wars movies were effective and often humorous. The science element was convincing as well, the physicists involved straight out of “The Big Bang Theory.” I loved the characters left behind on Earth and their efforts to find the portal so they could bring back D’Laine. On a subjective level, I thoroughly enjoyed the fact they were in Houston, where I used to live. Thus, I enjoyed the references to familiar places including the Katy Mills Mall and local roadways. It’s always a plus when the location details are authentic, which adds credibility. Those who have never been there never know the difference, but to those who have it makes the story come even more alive.
I’ll even forgive the fact the story broke one of my cardinal rules of writing, (which I posted today in my “Writing Tips”) about starting a story with the main character. I can forgive any deviance that works, in this case giving it a story-telling flavor similar to “The Princess Bride.” (However, if I had been the editor, I would have recommended using a prologue.)
For a while I was worried that the story would end with a cliff hanger. Fortunately, it had a very satisfying conclusion, yet I definitely look forward to the promised sequel, which is the perfect ending. This is a great story for all ages. Don’t miss it!
If you’re subscribed to Kindle Unlimited, you can read this jewel for free, or pick up your copy on Amazon here. An audio version is also available.
Writing Tip of the Day
With the exception of prologues, always start your story with your main character. Readers want to know who the story is about right up front and will be confused if someone different kicks it off. #ASMSG #RRBC #amwriting
Writing Tip of the Day
Most first drafts are heavy on action and dialog. Use the acronym IDEAS to make sure your story has the right balance of Imagery, Dialog, Emotion, Action, and Suspense.
#ASMSG #RRBC #amwriting
Marcha's Two-Cents Worth 