Tag Archives: book reviews

PHANTOM BIGFOOT STRIKES AGAIN: Silly, stupid, sophomoric and outrageously hilarious

Posted on by

If you’re looking for an intelligent read, rest assured this ain’t it, though the cover should provide adequate warning. I would place this story in the same genre as “Dumb and Dumber” and (for those of you old enough to remember) “Wayne’s World” or perhaps various National Lampoon stories. It could also be considered an R-rated Scooby-Doo. And this is a compliment.

This story definitely appeals to your inner adolescent. It’s loaded with bathroom humor, sex innuendos, and a sprinkling of bad language which is actually no worse than a typical day on Facebook. The action takes place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest called Big Beaver. As an example of what to expect, this illustrious location has a hair salon called Colette’s Head Job and a female heavy metal band known as the Crap Suzettes. A typical practical joke consists of altering the town’s welcome sign to read, “Welcome to Big Shaved Beaver.”

As typical of such towns, it’s loaded with an assortment of characters. The main character, Duane, is a wealthy yet scruffy hippie type who lives with his father in a cabin deep in the forest. To quote the book, “…not that Duane gave two flying fartolas what anyone thought about his appearance.” The local Native American known as Chief Mocking Bird and nicknamed MB spews Indian wisdom including gems such as, “Man who does a lot of guessing usually guesses wrong” and “Man who always knows what’s around the next corner is one dull dude.” Another character, Walt Bruger, claims to have been abducted by aliens from the planet Abba who were “Swedish-like” in appearance and “modeled the rooms of their spaceship from an IKEA catalogue.” Walt is the town plumber who dresses in a “…professional-looking, dark brown jumpsuit with ‘No dump is too big for a Bruger’ emblazoned on his back in luminous lime green.”

I warned you that it wasn’t intelligent.

The town is being bothered by a rash of incidents perpetrated by a “Phantom Bigfoot Bather” who goes into various residents’ homes and supposedly takes a shower, leaving behind a significant quantity of unidentifiable hair, a horrific stink and typically a donut or other pastry on the toilet seat, which the local sheriff is trying to solve. As if this isn’t enough trouble for female Sheriff Lou, Beau Bruger, son of the illustrious plumber, disappears and the FBI is eventually called in, a duo which comprises none other than her high school sweetheart, the “heartless bastard” who left without saying goodbye. Of course there are some genuine Bigfoot characters involved as well, particularly Zola, a young specimen who’s hopelessly in “wuv” with a human, a definite no-no and of course there is the obligatory paranormal twist. There are subplots galore which bring this story to its full potential of hilarity.

I honestly can’t remember when I’ve laughed out loud more reading a novel; the last book that made me laugh even close to this much was “Bimbos of the Death Sun.”  I thoroughly enjoyed it as a great break from more serious works depicting murder, mayhem, vampires and various other sad or tense situations. If you enjoy this type of humor I highly recommend it. Furthermore, if you know a teenager who’s not interested in anything other than video games and you want to get him (or her) to try reading for a change this would be a great place to start.  While it’s dubbed as Young Adult anyone who’s young at heart and doesn’t take life too seriously should enjoy it.

Fortunately, this hilarious story is a series with numerous other episodes to come which I look forward to reading. It had a very favorable effect on my blood pressure, at least more than anything besides reading that I can mention here.

phantonbigfootcover

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Bigfoot-Strikes-Again-Book-ebook/dp/B00H5Y2AWU/

Dizon’s “Stxeamtown” Elevates Steampunk to its Best Satirical Potential

Posted on by

“Stxeamtown” by John Reinhold Dizon was my introduction to the “steampunk” genre which I didn’t even realize existed at the time.  I saw it as a hilarious satire, which apparently is the intent of the genre generally.  This particular book operates on so many levels that it can only be compared to such works as “The Wizard of Oz,” “Alice in Wonderland” and Orwell’s “Animal Farm.”  Readers of all ages can enjoy its genius though if you choose to read it as a bedtime story your young children may not understand why you laugh uproariously from time to time.

This brilliant satire creates a vivid post-apocalyptic world in which the few survivors following the “Big Bang” form a variety of societies.  The teenage protagonist is Trip Nortel, short for Amitriptylene, his name credited to the custom of finding baby’s names in pre-Big Bang formulary volumes.  Trip is an Abovegrounder, a subculture that lives on the rooftops unbeknownst to the Grounders below due to a perpetual cloud of water vapor that obscures visibility; steam is the primary power source, having been rediscovered following the Big Bang.  Abovegrounders are held to strict rules, including the need to be obsequious toward tyrannical “young-uns” by meeting their every demand.  Those who don’t follow the rules are “crossed-out,” i.e. given a lobotomy, and sent to the ground below.  Those who don’t make trouble don’t fare much better since upon reaching the ripe old age of 30 they, too, are banished.  The rules are enforced by Big Boys who maintain limited contact with Traders below.

Trip falls in love with Lyrica, another Abovegrounder who lives on a different rooftop.  She’s not only beautiful but wears stitched clothing rather than the wraps worn by most of the others. The two exchange Morse code messages in which they express their affection and finally the day comes that Trip finds his way to Lyrica and the pair makes a precarious escape to the ground, some rooftop friends subsequently joining them.

Once amongst the Grounders, Trip immediately connects with influential people who advise, “He who moves the most paper is the one who goes farthest ahead.”  He’s quickly dressed in stitched clothing like the others in styles reminiscent of Dr. Seuss’ world of fantasy.  Eager to learn, he soon finds himself elevated to the upper echelons of society.  The hero and his girl are instrumental in instituting numerous changes, including starting a school system to educate the Idiots, i.e. those “crossed-out” and cast from the rooftops, so they can reach their full potential.  Things get more complicated as their Abovegrounder friends lament receiving unequal benefit from Trip’s influence and stir up trouble by associating with the Traders Guild and the Society of Black Beards who enjoy strong drink. The complications of the culture clash that follows are ultimately solved and of course everyone lives happily ever after.

While this tale is presented in a style similar to the best of fairy tales, more sophisticated readers will be greatly entertained by recognizing the allegorical themes running throughout the surprisingly intricate plot, colorful characters and their societal predicaments.  Dizon’s dry wit is only matched by his genius in creating this must-read allegorical tale that bears a striking resemblance to the world in which we live.

“As Snow Falls” by Elle Klass — A Simply Beautiful Story with a Deeply Profound Message

Posted on by

new cover 2

First of all, this is an excellent model for anyone who would aspire to write a personal history. The story’s easy and sometimes random flow of reminiscing demonstrates the simple memories and events which make a person come alive. It’s the daily routine from which we evolve even though the unusual experiences often change the course of our lives. As far as I recall, the woman whose life is recounted never gives her name, yet oddly enough this anonymity served to personalize it even more.

This story’s rendering is as unique as its enigmatic cover, which fits perfectly as you journey through the memoirs of a woman who has experienced the kind of life most of us would want; one with loving parents, kind siblings, faithful spouses and children who honor their parents. On the surface this could be considered too idealistic and even be a put-off to readers who have experienced divorce, abuse or perhaps harbor bitterness toward past events as well as anyone who sees it solely on the superficial level. On another more spiritual level it’s an effective allegory for what each of us may experience when the time comes as viewed through one woman’s life as it parades before her while she lingers at death’s door. Of course the season is winter, so often used as an analogy for the declining years and end of life, an archetype which operates at the subconscious level and makes the message more powerful.

I suppose this book hit home for me not only because I am now a retiree looking back on my life but also as someone who was raised in a family which gave even the Bunkers and Bundys some level of appeal. My upbringing was far from ideal and I likewise raised a family with a less than illustrious history regarding interpersonal relationships. Nonetheless this sweet story helped me remember the good times even while grieving for that which never was. Its pages chronicle the life so many aspire to yet never achieve, one of intergenerational love and dedication accompanied by an easy flow of income that precludes the stress and trials of financial woes. Unrealistic? Of course. Idealistic? Ditto. A person lacking depth could see this story as schmaltzy and sentimental. Yet without an ideal before us how can perfection be visualized much less attained? The question we should ask is not do such families exist but rather why not?

Another element this story captures at the soul level is that of meaning, that there are connections between us all. There are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason and there’s a lesson in every experience. Beyond all else it begs the question, “Until we can each get along and perfect our families how can there possibly be hope for the world?” Its message will stay with me for a long time, a book I’ll never forget.

messup

Connect with Elle:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElleKlass

Website: http://elleklass.weebly.com

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/ElleKlass @elleklass

Blog: http://thetroubledoyster.blogspot.com

Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.com/As-Snow-Falls-Elle-Klass/dp/1482779706/

 

Review of Martha Fawcett’s “Dance of the Warrior and the Witch” — A Sci-fi/Fantasy/New Age Trip through Space and Time

Posted on by

danceofwarrior

Martha Fawcett is a literary gourmet chef who specializes in bibliophilic ambrosia. Her style is so rich with description and metaphor that it can be almost euphoric to read. This story is an unusual tale that treads across science fiction, fantasy and new age genres. Her characters are convincing and easy to relate to as well as the alien Gathosian culture and various planets she created. The juxtaposition of the two main male characters, Elan and Stellium, where one was a human born on Earth who relocated offworld with his parents as a child, while the other was a Gathosian raised on Earth, created an interesting balance and means for contrasting the two cultures and finding where and how they intersected. Much you could relate to as an earthling, yet there was enough that was alien about it to transport you to another time and place.

The first part of the book, which was my favorite, takes place at a school that trains warriors in a variety of disciplines and techniques which include not only spiritual development, survival, and martial arts but jumping time dimensions. Elan’s mentor, Kyron, is another important player. I felt his name was well-chosen as a subtle reference to Chiron, the mythological centaur and “wounded healer” who astrologically symbolizes the hurts and disappointments we experience that often never heal; indeed, if there were one theme I would attribute to this story it would be that of healing. All the protagonists were convincing but my favorite character in this story was actually Cerebow, a “dulcerary panther” with telepathic abilities.

I was so entirely immersed in this Shardasko Warrior school environment that it felt as if I was there as well. This made it all the more entertaining when Elan went to visit his human sister who continued to live in an earthlike culture. At that point the school seemed so familiar and normal I could totally relate to how foreign “normal” had become. His sister’s sarcastic remarks were hilarious and exactly what you’d expect to occur between siblings when one chooses an avant-guard lifestyle.

The relationship between the three protagonists when the Trinity witch, Iosobell, entered the scene was an interesting study of the different roles individuals play across multiple lifetimes. I must say when these two men and a woman were involved in what can best be described as some sort of tantric three-way conducted in a retro-gravity device that I was a bit startled. Nonetheless, it was done in a tasteful and metaphorical manner that emphasized the love and spiritual bonds between them making it sensual while avoiding the clumsy, graphic prose typical of erotica.

Much of the remainder of this story explored the karmic path of deeds and events as they ripple through time and fate in both directions. Soul groups travel together through time and space yet individuals play a multitude of different roles and incarnate in both genders. Trying to heal or, better yet, prevent catastrophes caused by mistakes born of ignorance, foolishness or immaturity becomes a thought-provoking consideration as the three protagonists strive to do just that amid the challenges presented by “free radicals” or what could best be described as tortured souls or devils.

My least favorite part of this book was one of the middle chapters where a lengthy narrative attempted to map out the chain of events the protagonists were trying to untangle. To me it oscillated between confusing and boring but I persisted in the hope that ultimately the story would return to its former grace and lucidity, which it did, and ultimately provided a satisfying ending.

It would have been handy for the book to contain a glossary of the various Gathosian words. I also would have enjoyed this book more if I had read the print version instead of electronic because a physical book makes it so much easier to flip back to other parts to refresh your memory, check the meaning of an alien word, etc. This story was quite complex and unless you have a memory like a steel trap there will be parts that can be confusing. It’s a story that would undoubtedly be enjoyed more on the second read.

This is not a book for someone who wants to enjoy a simple, straight-line plot that’s easy to follow. It challenges the reader and truly transports you to another alien world and culture, a task that was executed beautifully by this skilled, imaginative and very talented author. When a book can make me laugh, cry, and even gasp a few times while I luxuriate in a writing style best described as Nirvana, I will definitely give it five stars, only because I cannot give it more.

Review of Susanne Leist’s “The Dead Game”

Posted on by

ENTERTAINING & SUSPENSEFUL WITH GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

By the time you finish this suspenseful tale you feel as if you know the streets of the resort town called Oasis as well as all the people who live there. The one thing you don’t know, however, is who is what they claim to be and who’s not, whether they are good or bad, and what will happen next. There is an excellent mix of reality and paranormal which lends more credibility to the story. It gives you a lot to think about, particularly if you live by an old, seemingly abandoned house with a spooky reputation. If you enjoy moderately scary stories populated with a variety of characters you will enjoy this book. I particularly liked Mike’s sarcastic remarks which had me laughing out loud more than once.

Final cover

Review of “To Penetrate” by T.L. Chester

Posted on by

To PenetrateTo Penetrate by Tl Chester
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This dark, gripping and occasionally gruesome tale was impossible to put down. It grabs you from the first page, taking you on a wild ride through the miasma of emotions roiling within a woman known as Sam who has killed her lover–exactly as he requested. Obediently following his last directive, she embarks on a mysterious quest in the form of a haunting roadtrip during which she discovers more about his sordid past with each mysterious stop. While trying to deny and suppress her guilt and inner turmoil she gradually confronts her demons and the various insecurities behind them.

This novella-length story is intense, believable and presented in a highly original style which takes you inside Sam’s psyche as if reading her diary as she pursues this dark journey of self-discovery. While the premise is tragic, it is nonetheless softened by an ample dose of humor throughout, even as it shields the protagonist from the maelstrom she’s experiencing inside.

I’m usually picky about such things as grammar and spelling but in this case any “mistakes” were effective as a deliberate ploy to capture the essence of this antiheroine as she spills forth her story in an utterly believable first person narrative. While it’s unusual to start a story with a murder where you know who the perpetrator was, the suspense throughout is nearly tangible, right up to the last heart-stopping page. This story’s depth is not to be trifled with, its impact troubling as you realize how, when all is said and done, that Sam could be the true victim of this clever albeit unsettling tale were it not for her transformation along the way.

View all my reviews

Pre-release Review of Elle Klass’ “Baby Girl 3: City by the Bay”

Posted on by

Tomorrow, July 15, is the big day for Elle Klass’ latest sequel in the “Baby Girl” series. Here’s my review:

“Baby Girl 3: City by the Bay” continues the saga of Cleo, a girl abandoned as a child and on a quest to discover her true identity. This latest installment of the popular series of novellas finds Cleo, now known as Shanna Nu, in San Francisco where she hopes to uncover more information pertaining to the disappearance of the woman she knew as her mother. Cleo is acutely aware of cryptic letters the woman left behind warning her that her life could be in danger as she nonetheless persists, more determined than ever, to discover who she is. She conveniently obtains a job with a seasoned ex-cop turned private investigator named La Tige where she acquires a variety of new skills as well as access to new information in police files. As she gradually unravels the past the more tangled it becomes as she continues to pick through the various threads and close in on the truth.

This episode is filled with additional mystery, intrigue and adventure as the story and plot deepen. Amid the challenges and sometimes shocking revelations, Cleo is gradually discovering who she is at the core even if her actual identity still eludes her. Readers following this series will enjoy the ride as new dimensions of the story are revealed as well as witnessing Cleo’s evolving maturity. She still may not know her legal identity but she is beginning nonetheless to know exactly who and what she is, a discovery that everyone must encounter sooner or later.

baby 3 cover 2a