5 MORE TIPS FOR INDIE WRITERS: Perfecting Your Craft

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  1. Avoid adverbs and adjectives whenever possible. For example, rather than saying, He walked slowly say, He strolled or He dragged his feet. Using exactly the right word brings clarity and moves the story along more quickly. Verbs are powerful; use them properly and they strengthen your writing. This contributes to the Show, don’t tell admonition which allows the reader to experience the story as opposed to simply observing it. For example, which of the following is more effective?
    1. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that before,” Sally said sadly.
    2. Sally’s eyes filled with tears and her chin quivered with emotion. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that before,” she whispered.
  2. Use active voice and subjective case. In other words, say, He threw the ball as opposed to the ball was thrown by him.
  3. Avoid using the same word more than once in a paragraph. This is something my senior lit teacher told us in high school. Of course there are exceptions, but often when you need to repeat a word it’s a signal that you could reword the sentence in a more concise way. For example:
    1. Sharon saw the pantry was empty so she went to the store to get some groceries. When she got to the store she bought bread, eggs, milk and sauerkraut.
    2. Seeing the pantry was empty, Sharon went to the store to buy bread, eggs, milk and sauerkraut.
  4. Flashbacks are often a source of confusion for the writer as well as the reader. The convention is to begin a flashback with past perfect tense, e. We had started that day with the usual cup of coffee. If you want you can use it for the next sentence as well, particularly if it’s going to be a fairly long sequence. Then when the flashback ends, you close it again with past perfect, i.e. I had thought at the time that it was a good idea, but time had shown otherwise. You can also include a simple statement such as He returned to the present….
  5. There are numerous words out there that sound the same but have different meanings and are spelled differently which are called homonyms. Examples include here and hear; whole and hole; where and wear; your and you’re; you’ll and yule; there, they’re, and their and a host of others.

In the past few weeks I have seen the word shudder used incorrectly in two different books. The meaning of this word is to shake or vibrate; it is not the word for those planks designed to cover or sometimes decorate windows; that word is shutter like in shut. Another one I’ve seen misused in an otherwise excellent book is the word reign. This word relates to authority, such as “the queen’s reign.” To restrain or limit is the word rein, like the straps used with a bit to control a horse. The most common seem to be your (possessive) and you’re (contraction for you are) and they’re (contraction for they are), there (a place) and their (plural possessive.)

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Conclusion

Nothing shows your ignorance as a writer faster than getting these different words mixed up. Many readers won’t know the different, I’m sure, but it’s really our responsibility as writers to provide correct usage and set the example for what appears to be an increasingly semi-literate world.

Of course now that we have autocorrect messing with our best intentions sometimes it’s not entirely your fault if they show up. Furthermore, if your keyboarding skills are advanced your fingers may tend to spell incorrectly from time to time. I have that problem where I know (not no) better but when I really get on a roll (not role) they often turn up (not turnip). That said, you’re (not your) going to have to pay attention and do your (not you’re) best to at least know (not no) the difference between them so you can correct them when you see (not sea) them. If you tend to read over your own mistakes then please, by all means, hire a good editor. Readers who know the difference will appreciate it.

6 MORE TIPS FOR INDIE WRITERS: Handling Thoughts and Dialog

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Even though you’ve read dozens or even hundreds of novels, when you sit down to start writing one yourself you’ll occasionally hit a wall and wonder how it’s done. Here are a few common areas related to capturing thoughts and dialog that writers may not find intuitively obvious:

  1. When a character speaks long enough for it to occupy more than one paragraph without any sort of interruption, including he said, the beginning of the statement has a quotation mark but it doesn’t end with one until the speech ends. This shows the reader that it’s the same person continuing to speak. When he’s done, then you close it out with a quotation mark.
  2. A spoken sentence contained within quotes ends with a comma, not a period, provided you’re going to add he or she said at the end; otherwise use a period. If it’s a question you obviously use a question mark but there is no need to capitalize the he or she when you designate who asked. It’s possible that some word processors in their infinite wisdom may capitalize it for you but this is incorrect.
  3. When a character is thinking something it is usually italicized. However, don’t go on and on with pages of italicized text. This is where viewpoint comes into play in the narrative. For example:
    1. Steve can be such an idiot, Jack thought.
    2. Jack shook his head and rolled his eyes, thinking Steve should shut up and quit acting like such an idiot.
  4. Speaking of italics, they also come in handy for emphasis, such as exclamations you want to give a little extra punch. Don’t use them too often, however, or they lose their effect. Same goes for exclamation points! Use them sparingly, please! Even if a conversation is clearly intense you don’t need to end every sentence with one! It really gets annoying to the reader! See what I mean? It’s better to use narrative and detail so the reader is well aware of the mood in the given scene and therefore knows the tone and emphasis the characters would employ in such a conversation. It’s also seldom justifiable to use more than one!!!!!! Capische?
  5. It is a good idea to remind the reader who’s speaking occasionally, even if it’s a soliloquy by the main character unless there is absolutely no one else in the story. If it’s a dialog it applies, also, unless it’s obvious from the context. This can also be done by inserting names into the dialog itself, such as, “Come on, Jerry, it’s time to go.” Conversely, don’t insult the reader’s intelligence by including it too often. Strive for balance.
  6. Don’t over-use the various synonyms for said; use them sparingly and with deliberate intent to help convey the emotional content and avoid adverbs. For example saying “he shouted” is much more effective than “he said loudly.”  The worst thing you can do is distract from the story by trying too hard to be clever and impress the reader, a practice known as overwriting. If it contributes to the mood such as yelled, whispered, grumbled, explained, muttered, etc. then it is probably okay but go easy on the others. Said, stated, replied, commented, acknowledged, agreed, argued, asserted, opined, and numerous others all have a place but don’t feel you have to use them all within a given conversation. Set the mood then let the characters do the rest with what they actually say.

5 Quick Tips for Indie Writers: Formatting

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One complaint I’ve heard about Indie novels is lack of proper formatting. While this is usually one of the services provided by a publisher, when you’re an Indie you’re on your own unless you want to hire someone to do it for you.  Otherwise such oversights, ignorance or perhaps laziness contribute to a poor reputation which hurts everyone. Here are a few simple formatting tips which will help your work shine:

  1. The first paragraph of a new chapter typically begins with a letter that is larger than the others and called a “dropped cap.” This gives it a more professional appearance. This does not necessarily work for some formats, however, where this larger letter will increase the leading (e. spacing) between the lines. For print format, however, this is the convention.
  2. The first paragraph of a chapter is flush with the left margin; it is NOT indented. This is also true for each new section and provides a stronger visual clue than doubled spacing, which is sometimes inadvertently introduced into ebooks by a page break in the original file that doesn’t necessarily indicate a new scene or viewpoint has begun.
  3. Along these same lines, it’s easier on the reader if you demarcate the end of a section with some sort of indicator whether it’s a few asterisks or some other design.
  4. Speaking of section breaks, when you change viewpoint from one character to another or start a new scene you should start a new section unless the entire book is written in omniscient point of view that switches from one person to the next continually. Remember, however, that you don’t necessarily have to get into everyone’s head to know what they’re thinking. Describing a character’s expression or body language can convey what they’re thinking or feeling just like it does in real life. Clearly is you’re writing in first person you can’t read another person’s thoughts directly and would use visual clues.
  5. Book design refers to the fonts used for chapter headings and text, your paragraph indentation style, line spacing, page number and heading placement, and so forth. Paying attention to these details gives your book a more professional appearance. For ebooks these details don’t show up but if you’re publishing in a print copy they make a tremendous difference as far as presenting your work as that of a professional.

Writing Process Blog Tour

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This blog tour originated with Kelly Lewis who stated, “The purpose of this tour is to showcase fellow writers with emphasis around the writing process itself to spread great words, get insights, and to show support in this isolating craft we embark on.”
Kelly Lewis passed the baton to author, Susanne Leist, who in turn passed it on to me in her blog.
http://susanneleist.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-writing-process-blog-tour.html

Susanne is the author of the popular thriller “The Dead Game.” If you enjoy scary books check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/Dead-Game-Susanne-Leist-ebook/dp/B00F3IWF70/

Here are the questions and my answers:


1. What am I working on at the moment?

I’m currently working on “Refractions of Frozen Time,” the fourth and final book in the Star Trails Tetralogy science fiction series. I have it drafted but my characters have gotten themselves into such a mess that it’s going to take a while to sort it all out and wrap it up.

2. How does my work differ from others of this genre?

In addition to being science fiction it’s also a family saga. When a family is scattered across the galaxy there is just too much going on in too many places to tell it through a single viewpoint. So at one time or another you get inside everyone’s head. I know it’s breaking the rules but that’s how the story flowed and so far my readers have liked it.

What’s interesting, though, is how everyone seems to relate to a different character and see him or her as the protagonist. While it was originally intended as a young adult series I’ve been told multiple times that it’s suitable for all ages. Another reviewer told me that the “human element raises the bar in this competitive genre” which points out that the setting may be on another planet but it’s the people that matter most, even though the brutal star system their planet is in drives the story.

While much of it is science fiction, I base as much as I can on what is known and pass it on in lay terms. I hope to build an audience of young people interested in science and engineering who will learn something painlessly along the way. I also have a section on my website for parents and educators with hints on how to use the stories as a springboard for discussion on various topics. If I can inspire one person to go into a career in science my work here is done.

3. Why do I write what I do?

I write science fiction because I love science as well as writing fiction so, as we say in physics and math circles, it was “intuitively obvious.” Speculating on the many weird and wonderful theories out there and what the future holds as we gradually get a grip on them and apply them to technology is my idea of fun. What most people don’t realize, though, is I got the physics degree so I could write authentic science fiction, not the other way round.

4. How does my writing process work?

I have an overall view of the story’s premise but once the characters are created most of it comes to me as I write. I’ve never been one who stuck to a chapter outline very closely because the story is sure to deviate based on what the characters do. The story seems to have a life of its own and it feels as if it’s being dictated to me. My characters always take over. I learn more about them all the time like you would someone you meet in real life. Many times they’ve gone off in directions that surprised me or new characters, sometimes important ones, have sprung up out of nowhere. I enjoy writing even more since what comes out usually surprises me.

Of course there are times when I have to do some serious crafting or brainstorming to tie it all together for which I have to give a lot of credit to my muse, Kalliope. I’m an astrologer as well as a writer and a few years ago I discovered that an asteroid named Kalliope is very prominent in my horoscope, which explained a lot.

I tend to do a significant amount of rewriting. My first draft is mostly action and dialog and I have to go back to make sure it includes sufficient imagery and renders appropriate emotion. I use the acronym IDEAS (Imagery, Dialog, Emotion, Action, Suspense) to check on whether I’ve included everything required. I’m one of those authors who never finishes a novel but rather abandons it because I can always find something I can say better or add.

I write a fair amount of nonfiction as well. Once I get an idea it tends to flow so I can produce blogs and articles with ease. I love doing research and have a gift for finding what I’m looking for almost as if I’m being guided by some invisible force. Back before the internet I could walk into a library and just somehow walk down the right aisle and lay my hands on exactly the book I needed. I love writing blogs about science at a level anyone can understand, kind of a “Physics for Dummies” series if you will. You can find them here on WordPress. However, my first love is writing novels and watching the characters evolve.

MY NOMINATED WRITER – John Reinhard Dizon

Now I’d like to hand off the blog baton to Literary Chameleon, John Reinhard Dizon. I conducted an interview with John a while back in which I conferred that title on him which you can find here: (https://marcha2014.wordpress.com/2014/06/11/interview-with-author-extraordinaire-and-literary-chameleon-john-reinhard-dizon/). He writes in numerous diverse genres and handles them all in a masterful way. No matter which genre is your favorite I would be willing to bet dollars to donuts that he’s written something you’ll love. If you enjoy reading a variety yet had to limit yourself to one author, he’s the only one you’d ever need.

In the interview I asked him how he changed his style so easily. Here’s his response:

“I think it’s more a question of adapting rather than changing. My four main ingredients are a dynamic plot, compelling characters, snappy dialogue and a powerful finish. You’ll find that common quality in all my novels. As far as genre goes, I made it a point to explore as many as possible in order to give a future fan base a wide variety of reading material. The way I saw it, there would be something for everybody. At this point in time I’ve been working on sequels, the logic being that it gives readers something to latch onto in following their favorite characters. You know how it goes, if at first you don’t succeed.”

John’s Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/John-Reinhard-Dizon/e/B00DU9JNUQ/
John’s Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/johnreinharddizonUSA
John’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/JohnRDizon
John’s Blog: https://centerstagejrd.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/interview-with-marcha-fox/
My Interview with John: (https://marcha2014.wordpress.com/2014/06/11/interview-with-author-extraordinaire-and-literary-chameleon-john-reinhard-dizon/)
John’s Book Links:
Tiara: http://www.amazon.com/Tiara-10th-Anniversary-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00IPS7R64/
The Kingdom: http://www.amazon.com/Kingdom-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00L2LLCY4/
Generations: http://www.amazon.com/Generations-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00K5DQYSY/
Generations II: http://www.amazon.com/Generations-II-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00JG56C2U/
Transplant: http://www.amazon.com/Transplant-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00JQRH1J6/
Destroyer: http://www.amazon.com/Destroyer-Abaddon-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00FDWB7KC/
Nightcrawler: http://www.amazon.com/Nightcrawler-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00I0K9QEI/
Nightcrawler 2: http://www.amazon.com/Nightcrawler-II-Tryzub-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00L8653CU/
Wolf Man: http://www.amazon.com/Wolf-Man-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00H4HWDAC/
Vampir: http://www.amazon.com/Vampir-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00IPPI7FC/
King of the Hoboes: http://www.amazon.com/King-Hoboes-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00HXQ4YKQ/
The Break: http://www.amazon.com/Break-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00IPPI3ME/
Strange Tales: http://www.amazon.com/Strange-Tales-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00JAHX8OO/
Hezbollah: http://www.amazon.com/Hezbollah-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00IZMV4D2/
The Fury: http://www.amazon.com/Fury-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00FK3UTE4/
The Test: http://www.amazon.com/Test-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00IVB9EA2/
Stxeamtown: http://www.amazon.com/Stxeamtown-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00GSTZK5W/
The Standard I: http://www.amazon.com/The-Standard-John-Reinhard-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00E1TL5LO/
The Standard II (The Citadel): http://www.amazon.com/Standard-II-Citadel-John-Dizon-ebook/dp/B00KP2B40I/

Confessions of a Reviewer from Hell – Part Four

As a person who worked in a technical environment for two decades, I have to admit one of my pet peeves is when details relevant to a novel are ignored or inaccurate, particularly when they relate to the protagonist’s or key characters’ livelihoods. If you’re going to place him or her in a particular career or situation such as a police investigation or military setting, then you should know something about their SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures). Otherwise, especially if one of your readers is familiar with such an environment, they’re going to be put off by inaccuracies or glaring errors regarding how that particular field operates. Do you really want someone from one of those professions to pick up your book and laugh themselves silly? Probably not. Not only will you lose a potential fan but may garner a scathing review which will discourage other readers.

Understand that people in most professions including big business, the military, aerospace, law enforcement and most other fields, even including those who labor in fast food establishments, tend to speak their own unique language, often replete with various acronyms. If you want your story to sound authentic then you need to reflect those details in your story. In other words, if you’re going to write a medical thriller then you’d do well to learn some physiology so those gory scenes are accurate and be familiar with emergency room procedures and jargon. In case you haven’t noticed, novels that make it to “Best Seller” status tend to meet these standards of accuracy.

If you’ve followed this blog from the beginning you’re probably getting tired of hearing this, but if you’re going to do something, freakin’ do it right! If nothing else, realize that failing to reflect appropriate details to bring a character, profession or even location to life is a classic example of why authors are continually advised to “Write what you know!” The good news, particularly as far as authenticating a location is concerned, is that as a writer you can vacation in such places of interest and then write off at least part of it as an expense on your income tax. It doesn’t get any better than that. Just be sure to take notes, keep your receipts and not expect immediate book sales to pay off your credit cards from such a jaunt.

If you don’t already know the necessary details through life experience, then you need to do some research. This doesn’t have to be onerous or boring. You can always talk to someone who does that for a living and pick their brain. Most people enjoy talking about what they do and are even flattered that you asked. Use them later as a beta reader to make sure you captured it correctly. You’d be surprised how much more interesting your story becomes when you’ve done your homework. Often new plot twists surface as a result and your finished product will be more convincing and deserving of praise, including by those within or without that particular occupation. If they like it they’ll tell their coworkers and bring more readers and fans your way. You may even inspire someone to go into that line of work as they get a bird’s eye view of what it involves.

The world these days is filled with too much mediocrity. Please don’t contribute to it with your writing. Standards have plunged now that literally anyone who possesses a little computer and internet knowledge (or perhaps sufficient money) can get their novel published in ebook or even printcopy format. No writer today is forced to deal with rejects and a plethora of revisions to get their work published so the incentive to edit and in some cases even run the spellchecker have been lost. Doesn’t anyone own a good dictionary anymore? Okay, okay, I’m one of those weird people who would actually read the dictionary from time to time. I’m not a perfect speller but I can usually tell when a word “looks” wrong and know where to look to find out. My grammar isn’t always correct and one thing I’ve never mastered was punctuation, especially the use of commas. I admit it, I’m far from perfect. But I’m closer than I was 30 years ago.

Please. If you must produce sloppy work, keep it far away from me. If sufficiently provoked by bad writing I can become “The Reviewer from Hell.” Of course that depends on your attitude. Regardless of which stage you’re in as a writer from stark beginner to already published, if you’re a true professional and want to know the truth, then I may be able to either help you move in that direction or validate your efforts as on-track.

That said, before I close what has turned out to be a rather lengthy blog/rant I have one more thing to say: All I’m really trying to do is make this a slightly better world for readers of Indie authors, one sentence at a time.

Namaste.

Confessions of a Reviewer from Hell – Part Three

Needless to say, as I learned these lessons in humility, many of which were difficult and ego-deflating, I became quite adept at editing, if I do say so myself. I’ve been an avid bibliophile my entire life, right back to those Little Golden Books my mother read to me, so I have developed a strong concept of character and plot development as it pertains to fiction writing as well.

I didn’t get it all through osmosis, however; I also read books on writing, attended classes which included obtaining an English minor in college, and went to various workshops dealing with writing technique. I point this out not to brag but to show how serious I was about learning how to do things correctly. It’s only when you can admit how little you know that you open yourself up to really learning something. Long before my own books were in print I helped several friends edit their books, two of which eventually got published and earned me a place in their “Acknowledgements” section up front. Seeing my name in print in their work gave me hope that maybe someday I could do the same.

I evolved into “The Reviewer from Hell” thanks to some God-given talent and experience. I was raised with the mantra “If you’re going to do something, then do it right,” as well as its complement, “If you want something done correctly, then do it yourself.” I’m still extremely self-critical but every now and then I’ll read something I wrote, usually far enough in the past that I’d forgotten about it, and realize it’s actually pretty good. At that point I have one of those Han Solo moments when “Sometimes I amaze even myself.”

So, when I read someone else’s work all of this experience comes to bear. If there are spelling errors they jump off the page and hit me between the eyes. Grammatical errors make my ears ring. Plot or character inconsistencies evoke a spoken comment toward the author, often not complimentary and along the lines of “WTF are you thinking?”

I do try to review in context. If something is intended to be an afternoon read at the beach I will not judge it based on standards that would make Hemingway sweat. I realize that all authors don’t obsess on research and accuracy like I do. (You should have picked that up from the fact I got a physics degree to write sci fi.) However, when I encounter something in a novel that just doesn’t ring true it makes me cringe. Kind of like my rant elsewhere in the blog world about the movie “Armageddon” which is entitled “A Roughneck and a Rocket Scientist Went to a Movie.” Do it right or not at all.

But do you know what this is really all about? It’s simpler than you may think. If you only remember one thing from this blog, remember this: A novel should take you to another place, immerse you in another world which may or may not include this planet, and involve you deeply in the lives of its characters. Agree? Good. Now listen up, writers! Bad writing, which includes anything that distracts the reader, breaks that magical spell! Whether it’s misspelled words, typos, incorrect grammar, choppy writing or plot inconsistencies, the reader loses connection with the story.

Thus, if a story makes me both laugh and cry it has an extremely good chance of earning a 5-star review (provided my reaction was motivated by the story and not the author’s lack of technique). Why? Easy. Because I got emotionally involved with the story which meant there were no distractions which meant it was well-written. If I didn’t laugh or cry but enjoyed the story without stumbling over a figurative garbage-strewn path of author carelessness, it may still get 5-stars, especially if it was a thriller or murder mystery which is usually not intended to elicit that kind of response. After that, my ranking goes downhill steadily, depending on how many whiplashes I suffered as I was jerked back into editor mode.

All reviews are subjective and authors can learn something from them all, even if it’s the simple fact that not everyone will love their work. It’s difficult to edit your own writing and another set of eyes can find all sorts of things which can do you a huge favor. In most cases when I find quite a few things that distract me from the story I simply pass on my observations to the author without putting some horrific review out on Amazon or Goodreads. I really don’t want to upset anyone, I want to help make their work better, just as those red pen wielding engineers helped me. I want to raise the bar, especially for Indie writers, so that no reader ever has to suffer through another novel that simply wasn’t ready to be made public.

Capiche?

(To be continued)

Confessions of a Reviewer from Hell – Part Two

When I finally got around to writing novels it was in the “old days” when you not only had to write it on a typewriter but also hoped to find a publisher. Self-publishing was available through various places known as “Vanity Presses” but they cost a lot of money I didn’t have. So I went the query-submission-reject route multiple times. This, of course, didn’t exactly help my confidence since I was certain it was because my work was not perfect enough. Thus, I’d go back to the manuscript with a critical eye, rewrite and retype.

Revising meant retyping with the most fun when the pagination changed. Then you had to retype everything up to that point or perhaps do some more editing so it fit correctly. I became a master at fitting it in the available space, a skill that came in handy later when I designed pamphlets and other promotional material to say nothing of Twitter. Today’s young authors have no idea what it was like prior to work processors! OMG, it gives me an anxiety attack just thinking about it!

Of course I didn’t realize, naïve as I was, that in most cases getting published was largely political and a matter of who you knew and schmoozed as opposed to genuine talent. My lack of confidence made self-promotion like that impossible as I hoped to be “discovered” and thereby validated. Thus, getting published was often more a matter of confidence as opposed to ability which of course explained why so many books that I considered inferior, or at least no better than mine, made it into print.

I was a late bloomer, which was also a confidence issue. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, mostly based on the number of rejects I’d collected, and was afraid that everyone else would figure that out.

But I wanted to be a science fiction writer and a good one so I figured that I needed to get the education required to do so. So at 35 I went back to college to get a bachelor’s degree in physics. No one was more surprised than I was when I actually graduated and eventually went to work at NASA where my writing skills were often the tie breaker between me and another candidate competing for the same job.

One particular job I held at the space agency was that of a technical writer. My duties were to take minutes at safety review panel meetings which entailed recording the proceedings and capturing action items, writing them up, then submitting them to the engineer for editing and eventual approval. And again I found out how very imperfect I was! It was really hard on my pride when the engineer would bleed all over my hard work with red ink. (Years later, when I was the editing engineer I would use green ink, which somehow seemed far less hostile.)

After limping through hundreds of pages splattered with red ink, however, something I could actually classify as transformational occurred. Eventually I became jaded to criticism and thus got past the shame of producing an inferior product. After overcoming that emotional milestone I could see more clearly and recognize that my writing was greatly improved by the joint effort. I learned to collaborate and eventually let go of my pride. My attitude changed. When people edited or criticized my work I saw it as helpful because it improved the product. I finally realized that I was actually a pretty good writer even though my work still came back with numerous edits sprawled all over the paper like blood-thirsty worms. Writing was subjective and there was probably no such thing as perfection once you got beyond “See Jack run.”

Little by little I had become a “professional” writer.

(To be continued)

Confessions of a Self-Admitted Reviewer from Hell

Part One

One does not achieve such an honor easily or overnight. As I think about it, I realize that it started when I was a baby. Even before I started to talk I must have been aware of proper speech because my mother told me that I would form the words silently and obviously be thinking about their meaning, yet didn’t say anything out loud until I was three. Since I was an only child it was easy for her to find time to read to me and I was reading myself by the time I went to kindergarten. I remember sitting in first grade wondering why the other kids didn’t know what the words were, probably the first rumbling of that internal editor coming to life.

I learned how to write thank you notes as soon as I could hold a pencil and started writing letters to my favorite aunt about that same time. My mother was a perfectionist (yes, a Virgo, for those of you who know anything about astrology) and thus always corrected my grammar. By the time I reached 6th grade I was writing stories for the enjoyment of my fellow students (science fiction stories, I might add, mostly related to the planet of origin of our teachers).

Around that same time my mother taught me how to use a typewriter. An old manual one that took some serious effort to command the keys. Years later after I graduated from high school I took a typing test at a job agency where I achieved 98 words per minute with two errors. Putting words on paper were obviously never a problem. While everyone else hated essay exams I loved them. Even if I didn’t really know the answer I could B.S. my way through because I’d write so much the teacher probably got tired reading it and would just give me an A. Many years later when I worked as a NASA contractor and did quite a bit of technical writing, one of my bosses nicknamed me “The Mistress of Bullsh*t.” I was flattered, of course.

But there was one catch to all this. I had no confidence, in my writing or anything else. My mother’s criticism permeated every aspect of my life, including the one thing I was good at. It inhibited my creativity for fear whatever I did was not perfect. If you’re a parent, give that some thought. This is not to say that a parent should tell their child that something is prize winning material when it’s clearly not but honesty cuts both ways. If it’s good, say so, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. There’s a difference between coaching and criticism. If you don’t know the difference, then figure it out. I mean it.

Nonetheless, I loved to write, mostly nonfiction and journalistic articles. I worked as a stringer for a small hometown newspaper for a while. I can’t even remember how many newsletters I’ve edited, many of which I created in the first place, back when they were written on a manual typewriter and duplicated on a mimeograph or ditto machine. Some of you probably don’t even know what they were, those early precursors to modern day copy machines. I’m talking about the days before Kinkos much less home laser printers.

If you’re a writer who doesn’t remember those days, give it some thought. Would you have had the patience and perseverance required to retype an entire manuscript? That was business as usual for us old-timers. Yet that is how it used to be. Could that possibly explain the quality of books available back then versus now, when you’re always at risk of purchasing a real dog of a story filled with typos, grammatical faux-pas’, cardboard characters and an inconsistent plot? Might someone consider your book a dog?

Think about it.

(To be continued)